Your older sister tells you she wants to use IVF and a surrogate to have a child. Your mother is opposed to the idea, while your father supports it. Your sister asks for your support. How would you respond to your sister?

Where answers to this question lose points

Our scorer marks every answer on three parts. For each of the 79 applicants who finished this question on Confetto, we took their first scored answer and counted the part that scored lowest.

• Structure: a clear order and a clear point31 of 79
• Content: covering what the question needs27 of 79

Confetto data as of November 8, 2026. A part is shown only when 20 or more applicants share it. Answers where two parts tied are not counted toward either. We never show anyone's answers or details.

What this question tests

• Ethics
• Communication

How to structure your answer

1. Ask questions (25 seconds). Start by asking the sister what led her to consider IVF and surrogacy, and what kind of support she wants. The answer listens before advising, recognizes that sharing her plans may have taken courage, and does not demand a medical explanation as a condition of support.
2. Who is affected (20 seconds). Put the sister first, including her emotional well-being, privacy, and the physical demands of IVF, then consider any partner and the surrogate. The answer also recognizes the mother's concerns, the father's support, and the risk that family disagreement could damage relationships.
3. The conflict (20 seconds). The conflict is between respecting the sister's choice about having a child and maintaining peace with a mother who objects. The answer also distinguishes offering loving support from giving uncritical reassurance, taking treatment uncertainties and the surrogate's rights seriously without making affection conditional.
4. Options (40 seconds). The answer considers listening, offering practical help such as accompanying her to an appointment, or helping her set boundaries with their mother. Listening alone may leave practical needs unmet, while practical help requires her guidance and family mediation risks overstepping unless she gives permission.
5. Choose (30 seconds). Choose to support the sister while encouraging an informed, ethical decision, because the choice belongs to her and any partner involved rather than the parents. This means remaining loving and present without promising treatment success, dismissing risks, or requiring the mother's approval.
6. What next (20 seconds). Ask what help she wants next, whether that means attending an appointment, exploring counseling and qualified legal advice, or discussing practical uncertainties. Obtain her permission before speaking with their mother, encourage respectful communication without recruiting their father into an opposing camp, and remain available throughout the process.

Example answer from Confetto

Example answer from Confetto. Not a real applicant's answer.

My first reaction is concern that my sister may feel caught between pursuing something deeply important to her and maintaining peace in our family. I also recognize that telling us may have taken courage, especially if she anticipated our mother’s opposition. I’d start by saying, “Thank you for trusting me. I love you, and I want to understand what this means to you. You don’t have to make this decision just to keep everyone else happy.”

Before offering advice, I’d listen. I don’t know whether she is considering surrogacy because pregnancy would be medically unsafe, because of infertility, or for another personal reason, and I don’t think she owes me a medical explanation to deserve support. I’d ask open-ended questions such as, “What led you to consider this?” and “When you ask for my support, what would help most?” She might need someone to listen, accompany her to an appointment, or help set boundaries with our mother. Those are different needs, and I don’t want to assume she is asking me to solve the family disagreement.

I believe the decision belongs to my sister and any partner involved, not to our parents or me. At the same time, supporting her means taking the process seriously rather than simply saying that everything will work out. If she welcomes the conversation, I’d ask what she has learned from a fertility specialist about IVF, including the physical demands of treatment, uncertain success, and possible need for multiple cycles. I’d also ask whether she has access to counseling and qualified legal advice, since surrogacy arrangements and parentage laws vary by state. Practical concerns, such as costs, insurance coverage, and plans if treatment fails, deserve thoughtful discussion without becoming a test she must pass to earn my affection.

I’d also care about the surrogate’s well-being and autonomy. I’d want my sister to work with professionals who support informed, voluntary consent, independent legal representation, and clear discussions about medical decisions during pregnancy. The surrogate is a person undertaking meaningful physical and emotional risks, not simply a means of having a child.

Regarding our mother, I’d first ask my sister’s permission before discussing her plans. If she wants help, I’d try to understand whether our mother’s objections come from religious beliefs, safety concerns, or unfamiliarity. I can acknowledge those feelings without agreeing that they should control my sister’s choice. I’d say, “You can have concerns, but we need to speak to her respectfully.” I also wouldn’t recruit our father into an opposing camp.

Ultimately, what matters most to me is preserving my sister’s dignity and our relationship while supporting an informed, ethical decision. I can’t promise a successful pregnancy or our mother’s approval. I can promise to listen, respect her privacy, and remain present through uncertainty, disappointment, or joy.

Use it for its structure. Interviewers can tell a memorized script, so tell your own story.

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